Sean and I are still trying to put money into savings so we can get our homestudy done. We are praying that the Lord will bless Sean with some extra gigs, so this can happen sooner rather than later! We are still in the process of trying to get some of the paperwork together. I have been talking to some ladies on an adoption board and "listening" to their stories. I have also been asking questions about what we need to do to be ready for the homestudy. As far as I can we are on track with all of that.
One of the things I have been told that I need to do it put together a scrapbook for our birthmother. We have no idea who she is at this point. I have been told that we need to put in pictures of us showing our hobbies, favorite activities, vacations, places we have lived, the wedding, the honeymoon, our dog and other things that will show our personality and our lifestyle. If ya'll know me, you know that I am not the scrapbooking type. That being said I am starting to get pictures together. My mother is in town this weekend and we are going to go look at the scrapbooking store in Opry Mills. This may sound weird, but please pray that I can put together a scrapbook that shows who we really are and that it will look good.
As soon as there is more to update, I will post. I hope that ya'll have a wonderful and blessed weekend!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Faith Required
Well here we are trying to figure out this whole adoption thing. We have a place that can do our homestudy, and we are trying to get the paperwork together. That being said we are praying that the Lord would work out the finances. There are so many grants we can apply for once our homestudy is done, but not before then. To get the homestudy done, we kind of need the money for it.
As I look at what all we need to be able to adopt and possibly buy a house it honestly freaks me out. In my heart of hearts, I know that what we need is only a drop in the bucket of God's bank. I believe that we are doing what the Lord has called us to do. I still struggle with beleiving that the Lord is going to work all of this out and that we will have a house and beautiful little blessing. I know that all I have to do is have the faith of a mustard seed. Somedays I am not sure that I have even that. I am sure there are times that the Lord looks down and shakes His head at me.
For those of you who read our blog and believe in the power of prayer, we are asking for prayer! Please pray that the Lord would help Sean and I to get the money we need and that we would be good stewards of what we already have. I hope to be able to update soon with a homestudy date! I think we may have also picked out the agency that we are going to go through, but we will announce that at a later date!
I hope ya'll have a wonderful and blessed weekend!
As I look at what all we need to be able to adopt and possibly buy a house it honestly freaks me out. In my heart of hearts, I know that what we need is only a drop in the bucket of God's bank. I believe that we are doing what the Lord has called us to do. I still struggle with beleiving that the Lord is going to work all of this out and that we will have a house and beautiful little blessing. I know that all I have to do is have the faith of a mustard seed. Somedays I am not sure that I have even that. I am sure there are times that the Lord looks down and shakes His head at me.
For those of you who read our blog and believe in the power of prayer, we are asking for prayer! Please pray that the Lord would help Sean and I to get the money we need and that we would be good stewards of what we already have. I hope to be able to update soon with a homestudy date! I think we may have also picked out the agency that we are going to go through, but we will announce that at a later date!
I hope ya'll have a wonderful and blessed weekend!
Friday, January 11, 2008
And the journey begins...
Sean and I have started the process of trying to get a homestudy done. We have talked to several people and been online. I have to call a lady on Mon (1/14). The company she works for does homestudies all over the state of TN. We would like to have the date of our homestudy set by the end of this month if at all possible. Please pray that the Lord would show us who should do our homestudy.
There is something I meant to share in my last post. Adoption is the perfect picture of what Christ has done for us. We are not "born" into God's family. It is only through Christ that we have the blessing of being God"s children. When we adopt, we have like other parents the privilage of sharing the love of Christ with them. When the adopted children accept Christ they truly become a member of our family. I know that the day we bring them home, they are apart of our family, but them coming to know Christ makes them a part of our family for eternity. I hope this is coming across like I want it to.
Thank you for your prayers and keep checking back. As things happen and decisions are made, we will keep you posted!
I hope you all have a blessed weekend!
There is something I meant to share in my last post. Adoption is the perfect picture of what Christ has done for us. We are not "born" into God's family. It is only through Christ that we have the blessing of being God"s children. When we adopt, we have like other parents the privilage of sharing the love of Christ with them. When the adopted children accept Christ they truly become a member of our family. I know that the day we bring them home, they are apart of our family, but them coming to know Christ makes them a part of our family for eternity. I hope this is coming across like I want it to.
Thank you for your prayers and keep checking back. As things happen and decisions are made, we will keep you posted!
I hope you all have a blessed weekend!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
A mother's heart...
I am going to share my heart with all of you reading this blog. This is not going to be a happy, feel good post, but a transparent look at my heart. I am not looking for sympathy, but asking for prayers and support for Sean and I. I would like to share with you the journey that Sean and I have been on. Many of you know where we have been and many of you dont. I am at a point where I can write and share. I hope that some of this is not considered an overshare, but that you see the spirit in which it was intended. We love each and everyone of you who read our blog. We value the friendships in which we have with all of you. If by some chance you have stumbled onto our blog, welcome and I hope that the Lord uses it to bless you in someway...
When Sean and I got married in June of 05, I had no idea that just shy of our 3rd anniversary we would be sitting where we are. I had no idea that getting pregnant and staying pregnant would be as hard as it has been. My dream was to get pregnant on our honeymoon. Instead, we got pregnant that Novemeber. In December, I found out I was pregnant and surprised Sean and work on a Monday. That Wednesday (12/17) night I miscarried our first angel. Late March, early April of 06 we got pregnant again. The last week in April I started spotting and was put on bedrest. We hoped and prayed that bedrest would work. I miscarried our 2nd angel on May 5th. At that point we took a break and waited to try again until after I had graduated from seminary and we moved back to TN. In July of 07 we got pregnant again. I held my breath and prayed that the Lord would allow this baby to hold on. On Aug 15, I miscarried our 3rd angel.
During much of this I have felt like a failure as a woman and a wife. After all a woman's body was created to carry and give birth to a baby. I became very angry with the Lord, and very jealous of the growing bellies around me. I admit that even now I struggle with this. In our church there are several ladies who are due in April. It frustrates me that I am not going to be in that group. I honestly rejoice in their healthy pregnancies and pray that they all have wonderful births and that their families are blessed by the blessing on the way. There have been times when I feel like there is no hope of ever relizing my dream of having a house full of children.
Sean has been a great source of strength and encouragement through all of this. He has dealt with the losses in his own way. It has been hard for him in the fact that he cant fix this for me. I married a man who likes to fix things. If he thought I wanted the moon, he would do what he could to get it for me. He has prayed for us every night and tells me constantly not to give up hope.
In September, I went to my Dr and she said that everything looks like it should. She then ordered a series of blood tests. I probably had about 20 tubes of blood drawn in 2 trips to the lab. One of the things my Dr was looking for was to see if I had a blood clotting disorder. The labs didnt really show much of anything. It was determined that I have a folic acid deficiency. My Dr then sent me to the maternal fetal specialist. (A maternal fetal specialist deals in high risk pregnancies).
I was a little confused as to why I was being sent to this new Dr even though I wasnt pregnant. When I got there I understood. This Dr also deals with women who are sitting where I am. She looked at all of the labs and gave us a mixture of good and bad news. First she said that I am 1 gene carrier for 2 types of blood clotting disorders. She said that if I were a 2 gene carrier for either type that this would be a cause for the early miscarriages. She then said the good news is that I can get pregnant. The bad news comes in that when we get pregnant the baby does not attach to the uterine wall like it should, thus resulting in the early miscarriages. She said that we may have several more miscarriages before I ever carry a baby to full term. She said that if we were not pregnant by Jan then we needed to call my Dr and get a referral to the TN Fertility Clinic.
After the 2nd miscarriage, Sean started talking about adoption. I was not at all ready to think about that let alone talk about it. In May of 07, I started looking at agencies, but I still was not really ready to accept that for us. Shortly after our appointment with the maternal fetal specialist, I was ready to start thinking about, really praying about and talking about us adopting. We decided that we would wait until Jan to see where we were with pregnancy. Before any of you get excited we are not pregnant. We are going to call to get the referral, but we are also going to start the adoption process.
For me this excites me and scares me all at the same time. There are so many agencies. We have the option of domestic and international adoption. We also have the option of pursuing an open or closed adoption. Each agency has its own set of rules and fees. We also have to have a homestudy done and we dont know where we need to turn for that. We are gathering all of the information that we can. We are praying that the Lord will show us which agency we need to go through. We are also praying that the Lord will provide the funds we need to go through with this process. We pray that the Lord will match us with the right birthmother and/or baby. There are so many unknowns at this point.
If you have been through this process or are adopted we would love to hear your story. If you have suggestions about agencies or other things we should know or think about please post. If you know of a pregnant lady who is not married and is considering adoption please think about us. If you know people who are going through this process, please send them to this blog. I found an online board and one of the ladies on there, was able to adopt through a friend. That friend called her and said that there was a lady in labor who wanted to give up here chuld for adoption. She and her husband drove 2 hrs and then brought home their child 2 days later. This gives me hope. I know that the Lord can use what avenue He chooses to bring us this child or children. As we get information and get things going we will be posting updates.
Thank you for reading this post. I am feeling more and more encouraged about starting this process. I hope and pray that by the time Christmas comes that we are either holding a baby in our arms or that we at least know that our little blessing is on the way. Thank you again for your friendship and your prayers. I pray that the Lord blesses you in this new year!!!
When Sean and I got married in June of 05, I had no idea that just shy of our 3rd anniversary we would be sitting where we are. I had no idea that getting pregnant and staying pregnant would be as hard as it has been. My dream was to get pregnant on our honeymoon. Instead, we got pregnant that Novemeber. In December, I found out I was pregnant and surprised Sean and work on a Monday. That Wednesday (12/17) night I miscarried our first angel. Late March, early April of 06 we got pregnant again. The last week in April I started spotting and was put on bedrest. We hoped and prayed that bedrest would work. I miscarried our 2nd angel on May 5th. At that point we took a break and waited to try again until after I had graduated from seminary and we moved back to TN. In July of 07 we got pregnant again. I held my breath and prayed that the Lord would allow this baby to hold on. On Aug 15, I miscarried our 3rd angel.
During much of this I have felt like a failure as a woman and a wife. After all a woman's body was created to carry and give birth to a baby. I became very angry with the Lord, and very jealous of the growing bellies around me. I admit that even now I struggle with this. In our church there are several ladies who are due in April. It frustrates me that I am not going to be in that group. I honestly rejoice in their healthy pregnancies and pray that they all have wonderful births and that their families are blessed by the blessing on the way. There have been times when I feel like there is no hope of ever relizing my dream of having a house full of children.
Sean has been a great source of strength and encouragement through all of this. He has dealt with the losses in his own way. It has been hard for him in the fact that he cant fix this for me. I married a man who likes to fix things. If he thought I wanted the moon, he would do what he could to get it for me. He has prayed for us every night and tells me constantly not to give up hope.
In September, I went to my Dr and she said that everything looks like it should. She then ordered a series of blood tests. I probably had about 20 tubes of blood drawn in 2 trips to the lab. One of the things my Dr was looking for was to see if I had a blood clotting disorder. The labs didnt really show much of anything. It was determined that I have a folic acid deficiency. My Dr then sent me to the maternal fetal specialist. (A maternal fetal specialist deals in high risk pregnancies).
I was a little confused as to why I was being sent to this new Dr even though I wasnt pregnant. When I got there I understood. This Dr also deals with women who are sitting where I am. She looked at all of the labs and gave us a mixture of good and bad news. First she said that I am 1 gene carrier for 2 types of blood clotting disorders. She said that if I were a 2 gene carrier for either type that this would be a cause for the early miscarriages. She then said the good news is that I can get pregnant. The bad news comes in that when we get pregnant the baby does not attach to the uterine wall like it should, thus resulting in the early miscarriages. She said that we may have several more miscarriages before I ever carry a baby to full term. She said that if we were not pregnant by Jan then we needed to call my Dr and get a referral to the TN Fertility Clinic.
After the 2nd miscarriage, Sean started talking about adoption. I was not at all ready to think about that let alone talk about it. In May of 07, I started looking at agencies, but I still was not really ready to accept that for us. Shortly after our appointment with the maternal fetal specialist, I was ready to start thinking about, really praying about and talking about us adopting. We decided that we would wait until Jan to see where we were with pregnancy. Before any of you get excited we are not pregnant. We are going to call to get the referral, but we are also going to start the adoption process.
For me this excites me and scares me all at the same time. There are so many agencies. We have the option of domestic and international adoption. We also have the option of pursuing an open or closed adoption. Each agency has its own set of rules and fees. We also have to have a homestudy done and we dont know where we need to turn for that. We are gathering all of the information that we can. We are praying that the Lord will show us which agency we need to go through. We are also praying that the Lord will provide the funds we need to go through with this process. We pray that the Lord will match us with the right birthmother and/or baby. There are so many unknowns at this point.
If you have been through this process or are adopted we would love to hear your story. If you have suggestions about agencies or other things we should know or think about please post. If you know of a pregnant lady who is not married and is considering adoption please think about us. If you know people who are going through this process, please send them to this blog. I found an online board and one of the ladies on there, was able to adopt through a friend. That friend called her and said that there was a lady in labor who wanted to give up here chuld for adoption. She and her husband drove 2 hrs and then brought home their child 2 days later. This gives me hope. I know that the Lord can use what avenue He chooses to bring us this child or children. As we get information and get things going we will be posting updates.
Thank you for reading this post. I am feeling more and more encouraged about starting this process. I hope and pray that by the time Christmas comes that we are either holding a baby in our arms or that we at least know that our little blessing is on the way. Thank you again for your friendship and your prayers. I pray that the Lord blesses you in this new year!!!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
A Christmas picture at last!!!
Here is our puppy Crimson laying under our Christmas tree. We could not put ornaments on the bottom of the tree because she decided that she likes to eat them. Right now our only issue with her is that she likes to hop over the couches and run under the tree. Earlier today while Sean was watching the Titans game she lept over the couch and I heard the tree shaking. I looked to see it wobble just a little. I had this thought of the tree toppling over. Hopefully she will be kind enough to leave our tree alone for the next week and a half.
This Christmas season has proven to be a busy one in our house. Between work and church and hanging out with friends we have stayed busy. My mom was here this weekend and we did Christmas with her Saturday night. Tonight we had dinner with some dear friends of ours. Tomorrow night we will go to Christmas Vespers at church and then go out for Chinese (this is a tradition that Sean has had for several years now). Christmas morning we will get up and open presents and that night we will go to his parents house for Christmas dinner. December 30- Jan 1st Sean and I will be helping out with Tera Nova (a huge youth conference held by Brent Gambrell Ministries). For the rest of our vacation we will be hanging out at the house and we may take a day trip or two. We plan on resting as much as we can before the new year begins!
I hope that all of you reading this post will have a very Merry Christmas. I pray that the Lord will bless your new year. I pray that all of your hopes,dreams and prayers for next year come true and that the Lord will bless all of you in a way that you never imagined
P.S thanks Susan for showing me how to put pictures on the blog!
This Christmas season has proven to be a busy one in our house. Between work and church and hanging out with friends we have stayed busy. My mom was here this weekend and we did Christmas with her Saturday night. Tonight we had dinner with some dear friends of ours. Tomorrow night we will go to Christmas Vespers at church and then go out for Chinese (this is a tradition that Sean has had for several years now). Christmas morning we will get up and open presents and that night we will go to his parents house for Christmas dinner. December 30- Jan 1st Sean and I will be helping out with Tera Nova (a huge youth conference held by Brent Gambrell Ministries). For the rest of our vacation we will be hanging out at the house and we may take a day trip or two. We plan on resting as much as we can before the new year begins!
I hope that all of you reading this post will have a very Merry Christmas. I pray that the Lord will bless your new year. I pray that all of your hopes,dreams and prayers for next year come true and that the Lord will bless all of you in a way that you never imagined
P.S thanks Susan for showing me how to put pictures on the blog!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Pictures
I have yet to figure out how to put pictures on here. For those of you who are on Facebook can go to my page and see all of the pictures that I have been wanting to post. For the rest of you, hopefully I can get someone to show me what to do. Have a blessed night!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I caved!!!/ short update
Well folks, I guess I should never say that I am never going to do anything. First I said I would never own a cell phone and I now I do. I said that I would never live in TX and I did. I said that I would never marry Sean b/c I thought we'd drive each other crazy, we've now been married 2 and 1/2 years. I said that I would never own a digital camera, b/c I loved film and now I own one. I said that I would never have a blog and I do. As of yesterday I have officially joined facebook after saying that I never would. I am proud to say that after only 24hrs of being on facebook I am up to 22 friends. I am stunned. We'll just see what other things that I have said that I would never do that I will end up doing.
For those of you who are waiting on an update from our household, here is the readers digest version....
-My friend Debra spent the week of Thanksgiving with us.
-Oct was busy for Sean, Nov was slow and Dec has picked up.
-Our Christmas tree went up the week of Thanksgiving. I could not put ornaments on the lower branches b/c our dog has decided that she likes to eat them.
- Two Rivers had its Christmas concert and banquet on Dec 9th. It was wonderful!
-I am dancing in an recital on Sun (12/16) for the first time in ages. I am taking an adult tap class at Bellvue Dance Academy (no I will not be posting a video)
-Outside of normal Christmastime activities we are just hanging out.
If there is anything specific ya'll want to know just post a message and I will answer it.
For those of you who are waiting on an update from our household, here is the readers digest version....
-My friend Debra spent the week of Thanksgiving with us.
-Oct was busy for Sean, Nov was slow and Dec has picked up.
-Our Christmas tree went up the week of Thanksgiving. I could not put ornaments on the lower branches b/c our dog has decided that she likes to eat them.
- Two Rivers had its Christmas concert and banquet on Dec 9th. It was wonderful!
-I am dancing in an recital on Sun (12/16) for the first time in ages. I am taking an adult tap class at Bellvue Dance Academy (no I will not be posting a video)
-Outside of normal Christmastime activities we are just hanging out.
If there is anything specific ya'll want to know just post a message and I will answer it.
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